So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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