It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
