Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
