Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
