There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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