if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
