i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
