I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
