my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
