I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
