there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
