How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
