the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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