That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
