respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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