One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
