I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
