he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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