What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
