Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My vagina is officially offended.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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