No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
