i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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