OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
love makes seman taste better
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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