so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She told me I should be a condom model.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
