Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
