So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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