shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
