Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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