What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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