You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
