ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
