soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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