at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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