I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
too bad you live with your parents still
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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