Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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