I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
