Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
