Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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