I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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