...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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