we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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