He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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