I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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