I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
