Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize