So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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