you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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