so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
