only you would photoshop your dick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
