I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
