look no pants
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
