So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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