I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
