he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
