I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
