What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
