this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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