I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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