Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
