He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
