We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
