Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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