I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
