bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
