4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize