So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
