you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
false alarm. still invincible.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
