the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
