ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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