i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
